sometimes i can feel the snow escape your heart’s rhythm and flood my senses like a winter wonderland

the realization lost somewhere between the awe and fantastic that there was a danger in the white out framed as you

those winter wonder advisories

foolishly forgetful that your unique traits, like flakes that couldn’t be contained
in a globe,

teetered so precariously perfect in the palm of my hand that i willfully accepted the coolest burn

i stand in front of your silhouette much like a blizzard that emotes to the tone of your movements that are smooth as black ice

the chill from your proximity frames my breath in cold as you near

jurri j.

what if

it; the ubiquity, fell through the hands you pushed forward

and you watched it fall carelessly while fully caring

about the trajectory it took; a beat removed from your grasp

the catch of a breath holds the regret of an ineffective action

it’s gone

whether your sight was able to see the outcome

the landing catching just the outside of an unwilling eardrum

gotta plan the next action bound to shape your definition

words are slight, they say actions shape a character

but words

do they not build character when your back is turned

whispers, at times normally audible, voices at an audience with burn

friends, acquaintance the all the same when it comes to outside speech

indescribably blurred in a face that splits into two

hear this

your friend, coworker, brother, sister, son, daughter, significant other

will take a miss and at times feel the definitive weight like metaphorical water

be the hand that helps them wash away the echo of a fall

not the hand that snickers with the push of their head below

act better

jurri j.

ink blots colored among the grey matter

and a lack of foresight doesn’t mean i’m blind to it

i can brace as the color splashes over a brain that waves

fight or flight; is the outcome ever truly different

today there is a mosiac tint which vibrates in a way

a way that challenges sound with envy because it lacks

lacks the complexity it takes to bear witness

i’ve never heard a sound as deafening as the pictures

that cloud my mind and storm hues of feeling

that’s what it melts away to

the colors that overwhelm rationality in a thought

after thoughts are all i am left with

blind to them really, so forgive

my mind as it strokes you in a light that may

not be true or accurate

mindful that fantasies and tragedies

are preferred over accuracy in reality

which like a pit in a gut falls short

crisp lines, with uniform color

please let me lie with my mind’s brushes

jurri j.

i keep

my fingers off of your buttons for the simplicity

that a gesture of like, love, or at rare times, wow

would suggest that i want to reopen the past now

and finally cave to the many things you said you have to offer

good god let me add time to that impatient coffer

i don’t know how to love

see there

the truth set me, but more importantly, you free

carry on with the life and joy you’re meant for

i will stay tapping away at His door

where once crossed conversations like this will no longer exist

constant temptation flickers in, out on the other side of it

i care for you enough

to let you be

just Be

jurri j.

the flames

danced around you with a jovial tipped monotony

they had their next victim, their newest soul to possibly test

ignorance in the fact that you, you silly are FUCKING BLESSED

stress, an animal you tamed with a modesty constructed with strength by tears

the fears coward with a card-like pattern so folded

the times didn’t realize the warrior they had mistakenly molded

I’M HERE

pushing away the shitty cloak of constant, persistent, shadowed inadequacy

we’re each others’ ride or die fucking trying

a slight against you stirs the coldest uprising

DON’T MAKE ME

fold within your newfound yet familiar tragedies

take my hand as no matter how hard we may bleed

i love you, i love you, i love you

my beauty. Seriously

jurri j.

powdered indifference

i try not to feel a thing for you

but the precarious spaces in a lofty barricade

gave way to lust on a monday so mundane

i tried to ignore you among the masses of those that lift

you stretched out beside me, some kind of backward gift

please forgive me

i pretend i know not what i do

you’re You

jurri j.

i wrote

about a man whose beauty captured my imagination

wildfire against a mind covered with banks of snow

the push and pull of want and the need to simply know

if bearing witness is a good as it gets

i am gratitude

you are Transcendent

jurri j.

he said

i didn’t know what loving him meant

and embarrassment shaded my actions

because the truth with heart expands past mere fraction

and i whispered, i still want to

i still want You

(always)

jurri j.

your movement

that august morning covered in the darkest tint

me and you bathing in a light so blatantly artificial

was an unintended rescue, a save possibly critical

YOU’RE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL

but maybe

my eyes have soaked a bit too long in deprivation

we are anomalies that hustle before life’s hustle wakes

and if honesty is something that spills between breaks

THEN SAVE YOURSELF

because i have resigned as of today

who am i kidding; the ink on that deal has faded by now

the motions i follow should be all i allow

but the hope was there

god damn it; you were THERE

why you….Why

jurri j.

loving you

meant breathing in reality with the suspension of fate

that the fiction of happy endings and fairy dreams

mere stories as placeholders to make a heart believe

until the day when genuine love-stained grit envelops a naive heart

that heart is mine; are You

jurri j.