Bullying, Confessional Poetry, Depression, Gay Poet, Gay Writer, Life, Pain, Poem, Poetry, Slam Poem, Social Issues

Currency of Pain

Currency of Pain
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
Written: 12 Sept 2014

Common knowledge suggests words can hurt
Provoking the reality in a person to pervert
To a point where perspective is corroded
The beat of being now coded

Foggy thoughts thicken with poison
Naïve hearts descend to frozen
Happiness in veins start to congeal
Self-doubt is all that is real

To the ones who developed an aptitude
At holding the weight of verbal abuse
Plaster a false smile that touches the eyes
Hide the echoes of a foreseen demise

Today it’s a natural and a common exchange
To barter with the currency of pain
Make sure to grow your skin thick
Or risk becoming their nuisance

A joke about your shifting frame
Don’t like it, you can always change
Their snickers will fade from head
A new you formed by what others said

But what about traits rigidly set
How can one reasonably correct
The splash of race to which he was born
Or the culture from which she was formed

When people attack at individual’s roots
This can promote tragedy to brew
Possibly hate for the world or himself
A feeling like she’s teetering off life’s shelf

Yet we continue to boldly tease
Shading it under friendship’s normalcy
It is something that has become common place
Funny that malice has a natural taste

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Reclusive Shade

Reclusive Shade
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
18 June 2014

 

My walls are riddled with sighs

Laced with a past denied

The air dense with regret’s humidity

Errors and mistakes crawl over me

 

My thoughts fall into the repetitive

At the same time become competitive

Synapses fire hard like drums

As my heart ceases to hum

 

I don’t get how tragedy pervades

Like an unfeeling reclusive shade

Left on a world that’s eclipsed

Left within a faulty defense

 

In a proud attempt to transfigure

I slash a the reflections that linger

I can’t afford the flashbacks

I can’t relive the attack

 

Yet the memory sticks like webs

Backlash creeps in each thread

On nights like this it spiders

Tension in my chest is tighter

 

A deep breath hoping to dissipate

A build up of clouded hate

Toward figures supposed to protect

From that neighborly suspect

 

So I live in mobile haunt

In solitude I feel the taunts

But I find that I can feel secure

With every drink that I pour

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Brain Waves (Poetry Post)

Brain Waves
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.

04 June 2014

It has been said that our brains consist of waves
Where our thoughts and emotions are paved
Their tune-something erratic
As stable as broken static

I guess that is why it is hard to grasp
As I lay among disbanded blue glass
About the violence within a fit
The aftermath of a mind blitzed???

As I root for checkered shards
Aware that my core should be charred
Yet I sweep with unregulated ease
My outburst within each severed piece

In this state, do waves keep pace
And flow in patterns easy to trace
The chaos is pointedly infrequent
Like a storm in paradise-delinquent

Remember the time I became a shout
From my eyes fell tides of doubt
Brother-sister, in your room
A strained chuckle, the tide became smooth

Or the time my foot melded with pedal
Eager to collide with four-wheeled metal
The aftermath of that collision
Offered craved-calm with precision

Some times I want the control of a pill
To make the waves in my head still
I’m afraid when the brain spikes into rage
That I will get lost within a wave

Forever floating……

 

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