Tag Archives: Confessional Poetry

Bullying, Confessional Poetry, Depression, Gay Poet, Gay Writer, Life, Pain, Poem, Poetry, Slam Poem, Social Issues

Currency of Pain

Currency of Pain
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
Written: 12 Sept 2014

Common knowledge suggests words can hurt
Provoking the reality in a person to pervert
To a point where perspective is corroded
The beat of being now coded

Foggy thoughts thicken with poison
Naïve hearts descend to frozen
Happiness in veins start to congeal
Self-doubt is all that is real

To the ones who developed an aptitude
At holding the weight of verbal abuse
Plaster a false smile that touches the eyes
Hide the echoes of a foreseen demise

Today it’s a natural and a common exchange
To barter with the currency of pain
Make sure to grow your skin thick
Or risk becoming their nuisance

A joke about your shifting frame
Don’t like it, you can always change
Their snickers will fade from head
A new you formed by what others said

But what about traits rigidly set
How can one reasonably correct
The splash of race to which he was born
Or the culture from which she was formed

When people attack at individual’s roots
This can promote tragedy to brew
Possibly hate for the world or himself
A feeling like she’s teetering off life’s shelf

Yet we continue to boldly tease
Shading it under friendship’s normalcy
It is something that has become common place
Funny that malice has a natural taste

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Confessional Poetry, Gay Poet, Gay Writer, Poem, Poetry, Slam Poem

Street Lamp

Street Lamp
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
Written: 12 August 2014

He wanted to go for a walk that late August night
When hints of fall teased beyond sight
To disappear among things cleverly hidden
Like a minute spot within glazed vision

He liked how his heart began to strive
On wings of emotion a life could fly
Fear and anxiety ignite like fuel
Pupils expand into charcoal pools

The play of light broke familiar space
With every noise becoming danger-]laced
His souls whispers of possible extinction
But his manic mind can’t sense the distinction

So feet tread on precarious floors
Trembling sounds set on the lure
True crimes need the comfort of shade
Now his heart begs to be saved

With the buffer of the great light’s rays
A pursuit for substitute stains the brain
For in shadows it is hard to detect
The nature of a jeopardy within a threat

On corners safety by man is sought
A pale copy from what Prometheus fought
To bask in vibrancies of a street lamp
Is to settle a mind where apprehension camped

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Confessional Poetry, Gay Poet, Gay Writer, Poem, Poetry, Slam Poem, Uncategorized

Quake

Quake
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
08 August 2014

When flecks of soul flush my eyes
From memories that careen as climes
I willingly prime myself to be pricked
By images and sounds detained in fragments

Such as a giggle that provokes skies to brew
Housed within the boy that I call nephew
As my age acts as time’s rapture
Calm can be leeched from that laughter

Or the way I paddle through smoke tinged ease
From the awe that heats the face of my niece
It’s in these flashes I wish time’s hand would cripple
Loosening its grip on a heart that’s fickle

It pushes me to times we hid beyond neighborhood lights
Siblings and friends breathing as night
It is had to believe we felt so safe
In a world where innocence is readily chafed

So I let the fragments collect and glare
Aware that newer ones hold less flare
Value found even without intensity
Can one compete with the storms of infancy

However in the hour when joy is procured
And distance among minds are abjured
Our hearts and souls chain as links
Friendships strengthen in that of a blink

Or how my feet matched those of foreign soil
The texture of hands that made my heart boil
Lifting me to join a night’s dreamscape
It was the only moment I trusted fate

Even the nights our eyes became words
Caffeine-infected, the hours naturally blurred
There was always some exam we had to ace
Between fact and fiction our stress erased

Despite how the fragments flow into heaps
I sift for the vibrant, desperate to cling
Finding truth in the tone of what’s said
Water won’t flow against bonds that are bred

Which is why ear favor tribal volumes
Hooking to sounds that can pigmentize rooms
Of cousins so tight we act as latches
Especially on our nights, we burn as matches

Or when conversations splinter then bind
Like chaos dancing in a torpid mind
Our restless banter acts as masquerade
The gibberish of siblings kept in shade

And how can I forget where refuge is formed
Shaking off the stress that is commonly worn
With a grandmother composed with an anchor’s soul
In a world of diamonds, she made me more than coal

So I will clutch to fragments hoping they don’t diminish
Afraid they’ll vacate before my finish
It’s my memories that cold dementia wants to take
Without them how will my heart continue to quake

 

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Unfiltered

Unfiltered
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
17 July 2014

Within my mind there’s precipitation
Humid and damp with anticipation
Thinking of the day my heart will crack
Letting that one soul attach

Yet in my heart I think you’ve always existed
Clinging between each beat with such persistence
That I never should have felt any solitude
For with me you weathered each bruise

By chance one day our lives will collide
Souls that compliment reflected in each other’s eyes
The attraction splashed in truth and real
Like the beauty of rain drops on a window sill

And we will float in vivid conversation
Reveling in one another’s creation
Quick to let the broken parts fall astray
As flooded debris flowing down the way

You won’t mind that I walk in eccentric
In your company I’ll hum electric
Sparked by the miracle of your essence
Voluntarily drowning myself in your presence

And for once I will erode my low esteem
Comfortable and safe in love-sewn seams
For through you I will let the past sink
Forget about the times I slipped on the brink

Not a day will flick by without my gratitude
My words to your ears meant to soothe
In a world polluted with deafening litter
The tone of my heart will be unfiltered

So looking to the stars that slowly fleet
I blink back fog filled with defeat
Aware in hope danger is tightly bound
But the thought of you silences the sound

 

 

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Collapse

Collapse
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
09 July 2014

 

I miss they way I would drift in your laughter
The tenor of your voice was like a bliss-filled disaster
And in those moments it was simply everything
In those moments you made the pores of my skin ping

But when your laugh evaporated into a forgotten steam
The idea of us muddled into a restless scream
For I knew what rested in my heart’s cove
I knew of the apathy that was tightly sewn

Yet at times, the pattern you were able to disrupt
Ensuring my feeling’s bile wouldn’t erupt
And to this day those memories are apt to seethe
Boiling over in the cracks of my dreams

Take the time when we laid among television flashes
Melded together as eyelids to lashes
Your body’s warmth acted as if a sedative
The worry that blazed within became relative

Or when belted bodies were propelled by your rapidity
Our laced hands were the only thing that offered stability
That, and your soothing toneless inflection
Pacified a growing rejection

And because your soul burns as receptive
You were able to blend with my family of skeptics
I think that is why I entertained dropping my name
Unaware it was my goal to maim

Yet the day came when hate blurred my sight
I found myself stretching my heart’s blight
Did you feel when my kiss started to chill?
Did you feel how my pulse began to reel?

Those passive signs were just a hint
As subtle as the silent killer’s scent
But eventually my heart would beat bold
With each tremor we turned cold

Finally we two became blindly polar
Your temper toward me bordered on solar
But I purposely acted as the match
That led to our shapely collapse

So now I add you to my pills of remorse
Guilt-slicked about our rocky course
To the guy who stood as God’s judge
I never learned how to truly love

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Brain Waves (Poetry Post)

Brain Waves
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.

04 June 2014

It has been said that our brains consist of waves
Where our thoughts and emotions are paved
Their tune-something erratic
As stable as broken static

I guess that is why it is hard to grasp
As I lay among disbanded blue glass
About the violence within a fit
The aftermath of a mind blitzed???

As I root for checkered shards
Aware that my core should be charred
Yet I sweep with unregulated ease
My outburst within each severed piece

In this state, do waves keep pace
And flow in patterns easy to trace
The chaos is pointedly infrequent
Like a storm in paradise-delinquent

Remember the time I became a shout
From my eyes fell tides of doubt
Brother-sister, in your room
A strained chuckle, the tide became smooth

Or the time my foot melded with pedal
Eager to collide with four-wheeled metal
The aftermath of that collision
Offered craved-calm with precision

Some times I want the control of a pill
To make the waves in my head still
I’m afraid when the brain spikes into rage
That I will get lost within a wave

Forever floating……

 

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