Tag Archives: Poem

Bullying, Confessional Poetry, Depression, Gay Poet, Gay Writer, Life, Pain, Poem, Poetry, Slam Poem, Social Issues

Currency of Pain

Currency of Pain
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
Written: 12 Sept 2014

Common knowledge suggests words can hurt
Provoking the reality in a person to pervert
To a point where perspective is corroded
The beat of being now coded

Foggy thoughts thicken with poison
Naïve hearts descend to frozen
Happiness in veins start to congeal
Self-doubt is all that is real

To the ones who developed an aptitude
At holding the weight of verbal abuse
Plaster a false smile that touches the eyes
Hide the echoes of a foreseen demise

Today it’s a natural and a common exchange
To barter with the currency of pain
Make sure to grow your skin thick
Or risk becoming their nuisance

A joke about your shifting frame
Don’t like it, you can always change
Their snickers will fade from head
A new you formed by what others said

But what about traits rigidly set
How can one reasonably correct
The splash of race to which he was born
Or the culture from which she was formed

When people attack at individual’s roots
This can promote tragedy to brew
Possibly hate for the world or himself
A feeling like she’s teetering off life’s shelf

Yet we continue to boldly tease
Shading it under friendship’s normalcy
It is something that has become common place
Funny that malice has a natural taste

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Confessional Poetry, Depression, Gay Poet, Gay Writer, Life, Poem, Poetry, Slam Poem

The Game

The Game
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
Written: 04 Sept 2014

My memory has a tendency to make shadows
Blacking out things that I used to know
I can see experience flee and contort
Like a maze with no end, out of sorts

Last night my fingers fell wildly stale
Over written memories that fatally fail
To inspire emotion from a stalled state
There is no chance to resuscitate

Words meant to light up our connection
A stoic friendship meant for detection
Yet signed platitudes are hard to decipher
Bonds diminished by life’s accidental sniper

When heat spills on books meant to chill time
A side effect in a mind prone to decline
Recollections, like steam, tend to evaporate
The structure of brain much weaker than slate

So I cling to eyes for some solid foundation
Reminding myself of our joint creation
But I know that time is fond of the game
With ubiquity of people, recognition is maimed

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Confessional Poetry, Gay Poet, Gay Writer, Poem, Poetry, Slam Poem

Street Lamp

Street Lamp
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
Written: 12 August 2014

He wanted to go for a walk that late August night
When hints of fall teased beyond sight
To disappear among things cleverly hidden
Like a minute spot within glazed vision

He liked how his heart began to strive
On wings of emotion a life could fly
Fear and anxiety ignite like fuel
Pupils expand into charcoal pools

The play of light broke familiar space
With every noise becoming danger-]laced
His souls whispers of possible extinction
But his manic mind can’t sense the distinction

So feet tread on precarious floors
Trembling sounds set on the lure
True crimes need the comfort of shade
Now his heart begs to be saved

With the buffer of the great light’s rays
A pursuit for substitute stains the brain
For in shadows it is hard to detect
The nature of a jeopardy within a threat

On corners safety by man is sought
A pale copy from what Prometheus fought
To bask in vibrancies of a street lamp
Is to settle a mind where apprehension camped

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Collapse

Collapse
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
09 July 2014

 

I miss they way I would drift in your laughter
The tenor of your voice was like a bliss-filled disaster
And in those moments it was simply everything
In those moments you made the pores of my skin ping

But when your laugh evaporated into a forgotten steam
The idea of us muddled into a restless scream
For I knew what rested in my heart’s cove
I knew of the apathy that was tightly sewn

Yet at times, the pattern you were able to disrupt
Ensuring my feeling’s bile wouldn’t erupt
And to this day those memories are apt to seethe
Boiling over in the cracks of my dreams

Take the time when we laid among television flashes
Melded together as eyelids to lashes
Your body’s warmth acted as if a sedative
The worry that blazed within became relative

Or when belted bodies were propelled by your rapidity
Our laced hands were the only thing that offered stability
That, and your soothing toneless inflection
Pacified a growing rejection

And because your soul burns as receptive
You were able to blend with my family of skeptics
I think that is why I entertained dropping my name
Unaware it was my goal to maim

Yet the day came when hate blurred my sight
I found myself stretching my heart’s blight
Did you feel when my kiss started to chill?
Did you feel how my pulse began to reel?

Those passive signs were just a hint
As subtle as the silent killer’s scent
But eventually my heart would beat bold
With each tremor we turned cold

Finally we two became blindly polar
Your temper toward me bordered on solar
But I purposely acted as the match
That led to our shapely collapse

So now I add you to my pills of remorse
Guilt-slicked about our rocky course
To the guy who stood as God’s judge
I never learned how to truly love

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Vital

Vital
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
26 June 2014

A beer glass gleams in the shade with condensation
Each trickle emits a sparked sensation
Solo minds behave less rigid
Collective souls become less frigid

Two watch as bodies become beats
Two consider the attempt of a reach
One propels through the rhythmic thrashing
One prepares for the awaited crashing

Incessant lips cast out hushed lure
A baited ear clings for whisper
Within these seconds it is primal
Within these seconds it is all vital

Weighted hope lies in the exchange
This societal rite that borders on derange
Yet it is something they covet
Especially when they’re barred from it

So two boys continue to transpire
It is the risk that we all admire
A few might fall among the displeased
Quick to forget that freedom is a reprieve

 

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Reclusive Shade

Reclusive Shade
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
18 June 2014

 

My walls are riddled with sighs

Laced with a past denied

The air dense with regret’s humidity

Errors and mistakes crawl over me

 

My thoughts fall into the repetitive

At the same time become competitive

Synapses fire hard like drums

As my heart ceases to hum

 

I don’t get how tragedy pervades

Like an unfeeling reclusive shade

Left on a world that’s eclipsed

Left within a faulty defense

 

In a proud attempt to transfigure

I slash a the reflections that linger

I can’t afford the flashbacks

I can’t relive the attack

 

Yet the memory sticks like webs

Backlash creeps in each thread

On nights like this it spiders

Tension in my chest is tighter

 

A deep breath hoping to dissipate

A build up of clouded hate

Toward figures supposed to protect

From that neighborly suspect

 

So I live in mobile haunt

In solitude I feel the taunts

But I find that I can feel secure

With every drink that I pour

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Brain Waves (Poetry Post)

Brain Waves
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.

04 June 2014

It has been said that our brains consist of waves
Where our thoughts and emotions are paved
Their tune-something erratic
As stable as broken static

I guess that is why it is hard to grasp
As I lay among disbanded blue glass
About the violence within a fit
The aftermath of a mind blitzed???

As I root for checkered shards
Aware that my core should be charred
Yet I sweep with unregulated ease
My outburst within each severed piece

In this state, do waves keep pace
And flow in patterns easy to trace
The chaos is pointedly infrequent
Like a storm in paradise-delinquent

Remember the time I became a shout
From my eyes fell tides of doubt
Brother-sister, in your room
A strained chuckle, the tide became smooth

Or the time my foot melded with pedal
Eager to collide with four-wheeled metal
The aftermath of that collision
Offered craved-calm with precision

Some times I want the control of a pill
To make the waves in my head still
I’m afraid when the brain spikes into rage
That I will get lost within a wave

Forever floating……

 

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