Collapse
By: Jurri Saddler Jr.
09 July 2014

I miss they way I would drift in your laughter
The tenor of your voice was like a bliss-filled disaster
And in those moments it was simply everything
In those moments you made the pores of my skin ping

But when your laugh evaporated into a forgotten steam
The idea of us muddled into a restless scream
For I knew what rested in my heart’s cove
I knew of the apathy that was tightly sewn

Yet at times, the pattern you were able to disrupt
Ensuring my feeling’s bile wouldn’t erupt
And to this day those memories are apt to seethe
Boiling over in the cracks of my dreams

Take the time when we laid among television flashes
Melded together as eyelids to lashes
Your body’s warmth acted as if a sedative
The worry that blazed within became relative

Or when belted bodies were propelled by your rapidity
Our laced hands were the only thing that offered stability
That, and your soothing toneless inflection
Pacified a growing rejection

And because your soul burns as receptive
You were able to blend with my family of skeptics
I think that is why I entertained dropping my name
Unaware it was my goal to maim

Yet the day came when hate blurred my sight
I found myself stretching my heart’s blight
Did you feel when my kiss started to chill?
Did you feel how my pulse began to reel?

Those passive signs were just a hint
As subtle as the silent killer’s scent
But eventually my heart would beat bold
With each tremor we turned cold

Finally we two became blindly polar
Your temper toward me bordered on solar
But I purposely acted as the match
That led to our shapely collapse

So now I add you to my pills of remorse
Guilt-slicked about our rocky course
To the guy who stood as God’s judge
I never learned how to truly love